letting go

Control. 

It's terrifying.  

I started preforming at the age of 15.  During this time, I sang at a coffee house put on by a local church back in Yuba City.  Almost instantly, I was roped into the worship team and not long after started leading.

What was worship?  I had no clue.  In fact, at that moment, worship became a controlled environment.  We would spend hours practicing and everything was meticulously planned out. Every dynamic change, every word, every moment.

On top of this, I didn't know Jesus.  I mean, I knew of Him.  But I didn't know Him. 

A few years later, I found myself leading at a college group that our family friend was helping facilitate at the Bride Church in Yuba City. Oh. My. Fear.  Comfort zone?  What was that again? Throwing together a set an hour before a service began?  Oh, hell no. (Thanks, Jake. Seriously.)

"Well.  Look's like the Holy Spirit's leading."   

This was a foreign concept to me.  And it was something I heard more times at the Bride than I think I ever will in my entire life.

 

But in that moment of pure vulnerability...

the moment when everything was out of my own control...

the moment that I let my own insecurities and imperfections show without reservation and without shame was the moment I met the Father.  

 

He doesn't care if you're put together.  He doesn't care if you're as perfect as porcelain.

Porcelain will break at some point.

 

He wants you.  Your heart.  Your friendship.  A space to be intimate and real with you.

He wants every imperfect, broken, ugly part of you.  

And He calls it beautiful. 

 

I am inviting you to join me in a place of beautiful vulnerability.  To come undone before the Father without fear or reservations.  To let go of yourself and fully embrace the way He sees you.

I am undone, and wonderfully so.  Join me, friends. 

 

with joy,

- M 


Thank You

Jake Ithy & Cookie, for being spirit led & helping me find freedom to let go. 

Bob Ouzts, for showing me beauty called vulnerability.  

Teri Ouzts, for being the first one to tell me to let go and reminding me constantly. 

Dano & Andrew, for teaching me how to be okay with being a hot mess. 

I love you guys, and I hope you realize how much of an impact you've made on my life and my walk with the Father. 

 

year 19

 Photo by Stephanie McCabe - https://unsplash.com/@stephaniemccabe/

Photo by Stephanie McCabe - https://unsplash.com/@stephaniemccabe/

It's funny being twenty... I feel more like a twelve year old in a twenty year old body.

19 has been a very, very, very, (shall I continue?) wild ride.  And by wild, I mean I learned more about myself, other people, and the Father than I ever thought possible in a year.  In a nutshell, here are just a few. 

myself / others

  1. Showing people kindness is one of the best feelings in the world. 
  2. I'm not a great communicator. 
  3. I am obsessed with nachos from taco bell. 
  4. At the end of the day, I love people fiercely. 
  5. My love language is honesty.  If I'm giving you my honest opinion, it's because I love you enough muster up the courage to tell you the hard truth.
  6. I'm very easily distracted
  7. Not everyone thinks like Maliah.
  8. In a world where it seems like most of everyone is out for blood, there are still good, genuine humans. 

the Father

  1. His presence IS the best feeling in the world. 
  2. He is good. *queue good good father / king of my heart*         *seriously.*
  3. and by that I mean He is good ALL THE TIME
  4. Through every season & every circumstance His love for us never changes.
  5. He doesn't always show Himself in the same way.  For me personally, most of the time He does, but not always.
  6. Even when our circumstance seems crappy, He is still moving in your life wether you see it or not. 
  7. HE IS FOR US. HE IS FOR US. HE IS FOR US. 
  8. He loves to be with us. No strings attached.

I could keep this list going on forever, but I think you get the point.  

What are some things you've learned about the Father? I'd love to know! 

thanks for sticking around! 

xo.

- M

salut

Hello there, you beautiful human. My name is Maliah.  I am a daughter, sister of two, and follower of Jesus.  In order to feed myself, I make lattes and make voices & instruments sound pretty.  I am a worship leader, guitarist, and pretend bass player at Neighborhood Church in Chico, California. 

Welcome to my little space on the internet! 

My hope for this is to share my thoughts, my creations, ask & engage in tough questions, encourage you and inspire you!  

Thanks for taking a moment to stop by and see what this is all about.  Stay a while!

xo.

- M