I started preforming at the age of 15. During this time, I sang at a coffee house put on by a local church back in Yuba City. Almost instantly, I was roped into the worship team and not long after started leading.
What was worship? I had no clue. In fact, at that moment, worship became a controlled environment. We would spend hours practicing and everything was meticulously planned out. Every dynamic change, every word, every moment.
On top of this, I didn't know Jesus. I mean, I knew of Him. But I didn't know Him.
A few years later, I found myself leading at a college group that our family friend was helping facilitate at the Bride Church in Yuba City. Oh. My. Fear. Comfort zone? What was that again? Throwing together a set an hour before a service began? Oh, hell no. (Thanks, Jake. Seriously.)
"Well. Look's like the Holy Spirit's leading."
This was a foreign concept to me. And it was something I heard more times at the Bride than I think I ever will in my entire life.
But in that moment of pure vulnerability...
the moment when everything was out of my own control...
the moment that I let my own insecurities and imperfections show without reservation and without shame was the moment I met the Father.
He doesn't care if you're put together. He doesn't care if you're as perfect as porcelain.
Porcelain will break at some point.
He wants you. Your heart. Your friendship. A space to be intimate and real with you.
He wants every imperfect, broken, ugly part of you.
And He calls it beautiful.
I am inviting you to join me in a place of beautiful vulnerability. To come undone before the Father without fear or reservations. To let go of yourself and fully embrace the way He sees you.
I am undone, and wonderfully so. Join me, friends.
Jake Ithy & Cookie, for being spirit led & helping me find freedom to let go.
Bob Ouzts, for showing me beauty called vulnerability.
Teri Ouzts, for being the first one to tell me to let go and reminding me constantly.
Dano & Andrew, for teaching me how to be okay with being a hot mess.
I love you guys, and I hope you realize how much of an impact you've made on my life and my walk with the Father.